Lessons in minimalism from a gypsy

“Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.” —Will Rogers

One of the greatest things I've ever been able to experience was packing my car and moving clear across the country. It's something I wish everyone can experience to some degree at some point in their lives. It forces you to pick what is most important to you and leave everything that is unnecessary behind. 

For me, the running joke is this: I took the essentials: books and underwear. 

I have now moved (by myself) 7 times. This does not include the times I've moved with my family or the months I've spent living out of my car or a suitcase. On this last move, having learned a thing or two, and unfortunately repeating some of the same mistakes, I realized I was becoming more and more like a minimalist. 

A minimalist's life is freeing in the strangest way possible. Driving across a country with your car stuffed with everything you believe makes a good home which happen to include a skull candle holder I like to leave a tiara on. Or an anniversary book of the best cartoons ever displayed in Playboy magazine. Or, despite all the purges, the little wooden spear a young boy made for me while I was camping solo out west. At this point I have "auntie" written on my head. At any rate, these things are special to me because they reflect a part of who I am. They're also small, inexpensive treasures that have become priceless in their own way. They're also a practice in utilitarianism. The skull came about because after Halloween, where else was I to put my tiara? 

But I've also toted around a lot of literal and proverbial baggage back and forth between temporary homes as well. Clothes, miscellaneous random things like golf balls (I don't even play golf), lighters that don't light... You get the idea. 

My proudest time was traveling across the country on a long road trip. I lived out of my trunk, still able to see out all the back windows, for roughly 6 months. That was one suitcase of clothes (for ALL four seasons) and toiletries, camping equipment, sleeping bag, hiking gear, and other necessities such as laundry soap and instant coffee. 

When I moved from Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti for good I had to sell some furniture (all for way less than I paid) and rent a Uhaul for the first time ever.  I left the rest of my furniture home--giving my parents my couch, coffee pot, desk chair, bed, and book shelves. Perfectly fine until I decided to move to L.A. where I would have to re-buy a lot of these things. 

This has lead to a lot of purging over the years and thus, a lot of wasted money. So, as I begin to pack to live out of a 55L backpack for anywhere from 3 mos-5 mos or longer, I hope I've finally learned my lessons and here they are:

• Just throw it away already.
• Or at least, give it away or sell it. If you haven't worn it in over a year. Okay, a year and one half, then it's time to purge it. I've held onto things from high school! Why? Silly reasons like maybe I'll be that size again one day or one day I'll be able to wear this to Burning Man or something like that. 4 years later and the item has still survived another purge. You have to ask yourself: Do you want to tote these items around with you forever? Probably not. Same goes for random crap like the napkin with a drawing of an eyeball some cute guy gave you when you were like, 19 or 22... Unless it's a drawing your niece gave you (even then, those have limits), it's unnecessary to keep. Do I keep mementos? Sure, but they need to be something I remember I still have. If you had to dig it out of a box that's been sitting out of sight for a couple years or longer (not including grandma's china which is another story) and you've forgotten you even had it, then give it away. Why have anything sitting around not being used when it could be used by someone in need? I feel guilty for years of clothing that's sat when it could've warmed or snuggled someone who didn't have the little luxuries I've been so blessed with. 
• Prioritize what you spend your money on.
• Unless you've settled down for good, it's not necessary to buy so much. Each time I've moved, I've had to prioritize what to take and what to leave. I usually end up giving most of my things away. Then, I accumulate more at the next place, purge, and the cycle goes on and on. Not that I buy a lot. I'm quite utilitarian but things like lamps--I've given so many away figuring they're cheap and I could always easily buy a new one elsewhere especially with places like Ikea. It's not just lamps, but I end up giving away plenty of other things after only a few months use whenever I move as well. Why buy anything to begin with? Because I haven't settled down yet, and possibly won't for some time, a person in my shoes doesn't need to buy top shelf or brand new. Save that for later. Lesson I need to learn is only buy used from now on if anything at all. 
• But Helena, I really like this expensive couch... 
• Well, if you plan to move a few more times before you settle down, keep in mind things can get roughed up in the move and Uhauls are expensive.
• Be you. 
• After reading numerous amounts of articles and essays on how to pack, I realized I don't dress like any of these people. I don't wear backpacks to museums here in America, why buy one to take in Europe? I don't wear predominantly neutral colors, I don't really wear hats, nor can I walk miles in chucks. So--I'm going to pack items that reflect how I normally live and who I actually am. 
• But travel isn't the only place it's good to be you. How many things do you have in your closet, fridge, or bathroom cabinet that you have bought only because you felt you had to, a friend pressured you, or a hipster said if you ate it, it would cure all of your problems. Fads come and go and all I can say is you can never go wrong with a pair of jeans or tortilla chips. I don't really like kale. I don't look good in those long flowy summer dresses that happen to sit on every single lump and bulge. Also, organic toothpaste and deodorant are great in theory but guess what I used this morning, Suave and Sensodyne because they work for me. 
• The more you're you, the less "makeup" and "scene" you'll need to cover you up
• Don't feel pressured to be perfect or look like everything is "perfect." 
• My heart hurts every time I hear a friend or family member say, "Oh I'm so sorry my place is such a mess, please don't judge." Me judge you? You with the baby on your hip? You with the blossoming career? You with the health ailment? You with the full-time job and family? You, the one going through a breakup? And the list goes on... Life happens and when it does, it can really suck. Balance is a hard thing to attain and I'm pretty sure it means taking care of some things and neglecting other things. Some people do a pretty good job at making it all look flawless, but that's just it. It "looks" flawless. I highly doubt those people live stress-free lives. In fact, I want to know the son-of-a-bitch who does!
• Buy only what you need and do only what you love and brings joy into your life.
• I go back to this one because I think it's relevant in every aspect of our lives. It could mean:
• NOT going to college. Some people have thrived and will thrive without. 
• Going back to college. People will tell you it's a gamble, waste of money, etc... But if that's where your heart is taking you. Go. Oscar Wilde once said, "You can never be overdressed or over-educated." 
• Opening that boutique or coffee shop you've always dreamed of.
• Wearing jeans and t-shirts all. the. time. 
• Spending a lot of time at home... Or dive bars. 
• Breaking away from people who bring you down. There will be sorrow. But joy will follow. Hey I rhymed!
• NOT drinking Kombucha. I think that's how you spell it. I've wanted to but couldn't bring myself to buy something I couldn't really afford that I probably wouldn't like anyway. 
• When you buy only what you need, you'll cry a lot less when your house burns to the ground, the love of your life leaves you high and dry, or when you get robbed. It sounds awful but these things happen and that's where there needs to be a strong disconnect to the material things around you. 
• Lastly, be frivolous with things you actually love, NOT things you need to bring you joy
• The term "retail therapy" exists for a reason. I'll spend money on travel because of the lifetime experience it leaves me with and the fact that I just plain love it.But I wasn't always able to travel because I used to spend money I could save on things I didn't need, things I bought to make me happy, things I bought to impress others with. I used to buy shoes, I used to buy clothes, I used to buy jewelry, I used to do and try a lot of things to make me happy but none of them worked. So now I invest in what's important and what I actually love. If I find myself doing something because I'm blue, I resort to reading, writing, or coffee and wine with loved ones--all free and good for the soul. Please note, it's not the drinking of alcohol but time with people I cherish. There was a time when I was young and naive and would spend every paycheck at the bar (sound familiar?). I was miserable. Now when people ask how I can afford to travel, it's because I don't go blow my paycheck every weekend on things. I'm able to save in order to spend it on what really matters to me. 
• I'll be honest, I've considered spending money I don't have on cosmetic surgery. After spending hours on "spa" websites fantasizing what my before and after could look like, I often wonder what it would be like if the before were more beautiful than the after. What would it be like if our minds were trained to truly believe in natural beauty and take joy in natural things? Tiny boobs, saggy boobs, flabby bellies, sagging skin, cellulite... Now, I don't see myself ever being able to do that but I have spent money on athletic gear and clothes to make me appear to be something else--a lot of which I don't use. I could spend 3 hours/day working out and eat only once/week and would probably remain my shape and weight. It's what God has blessed me with. So now I run and hike outside, dance, and do yoga because I just plain like doing them. They make me happy and I don't have to spend a dime (sometimes). I'm learning to buy clothes that I actually like and that flaunt my shape and wearing that uncomfortable spanx less often. 
• Being frivolous in things you love makes it easier to give. I'm not sure if this makes me a minimalist but for the past 6 months I've been working on being more generous. I'm working on spoiling those who are unconditionally good to me and making them feel welcome whenever they are my guest. What's the point in having nice things if you can't share them with others? 

Not only do I owe living and traveling solo to teaching me these lessons but a lot has also been passed along by friends, family, and the spiritual journey I've been on. I'm lucky I've been around people who have spoiled me in their love and have made me feel beautiful--inside and out. The more I surround myself with these people, the less I need. And the more I learn to love myself... Well... Perhaps a nudist colony is in my future? If that's not minimalism, I don't know what is, 

But I could never...