Greetings Friends and Family,
I address this to those listed because as my first blog post, I assume the people reading will be just that (and even that will be difficult to acquire... Mom!) I guess I should begin with - why am I blogging now?
In the past couple weeks I've decided to blog again. Yes, again. I did it seldom a few years ago while road tripping around the U.S. and it just wasn't the right format for where I was and what I was doing at the time. I also had my suspicions about blogging, what with everyone and their mothers doing it these days. I thought, how would I stand out from the rest? Who would want to read my thoughts? What will I write about? What if they hate me? You know, the usual writer dilemmas.
After asking God what I should do and after not seeing him jumping out of any bushes with a clear answer, I began to ask friends and family and even Facebook if I should blog or not. (Note: When in doubt and when prayer seems to leave me adrift, I will ask Facebook. Hell, I'll look to a glass of water or magazine ad for a sign sometimes).
I got pretty positive feedback. A sort of, what have ya got to lose? There was the parent response too, which never really makes you feel good or bad about your decision as the person in question seems indifferent no matter what you do and would rather talk about something more interesting. Regardless, I decided to give blogging a go.
But then I had to decide what I would write about. I know, this seems like a lot of thought for a blog that doesn't even exist yet but that's me - a neurotic, over-analytical, worry-wort, female version of Woody Allen. And-- in order to write a good blog, there has to be quality content and my fear of failure caused me to question my talent as a writer (oh you have fear of failure too, no way!).
See, I love writing. I really do live to write and vice versa. Writing has saved me during many dark moments. I have countless journals, notebooks, and documents that I can look back on and visually see my growth and change which becomes more and more inspiring every day. I studied creative writing in college, honed my comedy writing skills in Detroit, and have spent years working on other projects I hope to materialize and get out in the world. But the worst critic of my work that has ever lived has been holding me back and that's... You guessed it, me!
I realized I was clearly making an issue out of nothing and hampering myself. Fear will always exist and I've inevitably I'll have to share my work if I ever want to get published so you know what I did? I decided to just say fuck it and write what I want. Do what I do for myself now, only share it with the world.
This would be the scary part because we all know what would happen if people knew what we were really thinking and feeling and going through. It would mean finally letting go of any reserve for perfection and willing to be utterly humiliated. It would also require a lot of love, laughter, and probably a lot of whiskey. But that's life and it turns out that, after reviewing myself not only as a writer but as a person, it's my favorite subject.
I love sharing my stories no matter how humiliating (or with who as any of my former bosses will tell you). I live for those moments when you and a stranger start with the weather and end up sharing philosophies and histories. I laugh more than anyone at my pain and flamboyant weirdness. And I enjoy reflecting (okay, analyzing) on my feats and defeats which I have had a lot of.
There will be art. There will be travel. There will be plenty of whiskey and stories about what happens when you drink too much whiskey (so stay tuned). I'm done researching how to write a selling blog, how to get published, or how to be perfect and amazing and pay bills all at the same time. I'm just going to do what I love and write about it.
I hope one day this finds you, whoever you are, when you're feeling low, or bored, or maybe because your cat walked on your keyboard and suddenly this appeared. I hope that if anything, as I always like to say, seeing someone else's shit will make you feel better about yours.
On that note, thank you for reading my first post. Until next time...
Cheers!
Sincerely,
Me
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