About 6 years ago I was going through another devastating heartbreak with my first love. We had one of those turbulent roller-coaster relationships which lead to roughly 5 breakups in 2 years. We always got back together because I was young and blindly in-love and he was clever in that he would always wait roughly 3 months to contact me after each breakup. 3 months being the brink of still having love for that person and being almost over it.
Our last breakup he waited a little longer to contact me. At that point, I could feel it happening before it even did. Perhaps I was willing him to but that's a separate story. I was working out when I heard my flip phone begin to buzz. It was him.
I ignored it.
He texted again.
I ignored it.
And again, and again...
Finally he wrote, "I understand why you're ignoring me but I want you to know that I'm still in love with you. I've stopped smoking (pot) and I'm moving out to be closer to you. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be with you."
Shit. I was defiant though! Sort of...
I wrote back, "There is and never will be another chance for us. I've given you plenty so I hope you're doing all of this for yourself and not for me. It won't mean anything if it's for me."
His response, "I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for us."
At that time in my life I thought, damn he's good. Then of course then nurturing co-dependent part of me began to kick in which lead to more texts between me and him. Which then lead to him asking if we could meet that night.
I was in college at the time and had to think about it. I had to start getting ready for class. As I got ready to hop in the shower I caved and wrote him telling him when and where we could meet.
As I showered my heart began to do flips. Those of you who have ever run into an ex you still weren't quite over--you'd understand the feeling. Especially the sort of feeling that came from an ex you completely resented who claimed to still be in love with you. It's like, hah! I won!
I waited for his response which was disheartening but as I dried off from the shower his name appeared. And this is what his text read:
"Hahahahaha. Happy April Fool's Bitch! I'd never get back with a stupid cunt like you!"
I honestly laugh about this now. But at that time it wasn't so funny.
What surprised me was that I didn't even cry right away. I just sat on the floor of my bathroom, stunned, and unsure of what just really happened. I wrote him back one last time saying, "I'm completely stunned. Good job. Please don't ever contact me again."
What sucked even more was in my trance, I rear-ended a woman on my way to class. Luckily nothing bad happened and both of us as well as our vehicles were fine.
I'll have all of you know that this shithead tried getting back with me a couple more times after this incident for roughly 2 more years. The last time he tried, the last time I ever spoke to him I asked why he did this. Like most idiot boys he told me that he knew he would try to get back with me again and wanted to do something that would really make me hate him and never take him back because he knew he was just that bad for me.
Well, it worked.
There are now two "holidays" I loathe to celebrate because of scenarios like this. St. Patrick's Day and April Fool's Day.
It's not that I can't have fun on these days or mourn them by wearing black, it's just that when you have prank like this pulled on you, everything else sort of pales in comparison.
If there is anything worse you could do to a person, I don't want to know about it and I don't want to know the type of people who do those sort of pranks.
Though I've certainly known some, what shall we call them, "colorful" characters.
Over whiskey and classic rock and roll playing at a dive bar, I sang "Love Stinks" with a heartbroken friend.
God bless her she is finally reaching that stage in which she can laugh at her pain and all the silly little nuances of her previous relationships. I can't even begin to explain the fun we had venting and laughing at ourselves.
Suffice it to say, if we could write a book it would be titled: "Homosexuals and Alcoholics."
I let you guess which type I'm into.
Have a safe and happy April Fool's Day.
Thanks for reading!
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