Yes, I go to church.
Yeah I know I swear and talk about "bad" things-- but I'm not going to get into this right now.
At any rate, as of next week Saddleback Church (home of Pastor Rick Warren) will be kicking off a new series called: 50 Days of Transformation. During this time we'll all be setting personal goals by faith and today he wanted to go over what this would all mean for us.
The one major thing that caught my attention as it is in tune with what I've been going through is this: Goals build character.
Meaning: The greatest benefit of a goal is not what you achieve, but what you become.
Well good lawdy miss clawdy!
As I wrote about in my last post, it seems my career search has lead to more soul searching than anything. Acting, improv, painting, singing, travel--while done in hopes of finding my dream job--have uncovered more of my heart and mind than any self-help book or doctor visit.
I think that's why it's been so rough. Trying to find work while working on yourself, finding yourself, and being true to yourself is a lot to handle. It can be ugly, sad, weird, and scary. But at the same time, it's beautiful, life-changing, and lightening.
What's more amazing is that this is done by reaching high and shooting for the stars. I have to give myself more credit because the fact is, I'm actually doing that--finally.
But it took me a while. The big reason being (and this is for pretty much everyone): FEAR.
Fear that you'll fail, it won't work, you'll look dumb, it's risky, etc...
So we aim low and try to accomplish things too fast. We give ourselves no grace and are driven by things like ego, greed, and vanity when we should be driven by love and faith.
Let's see... When I was sitting at my parents' house thinking about all the things I wanted to do that I wasn't doing and doing all the things I thought I should I was: Miserable, depressed, angry, bitter, hopeless, scared, sad, mean, opinionated like a mofo, passive, more impatient than I am now, and usually drunk.
Did I have goals? Sure, but they were all plan B-type goals which I demanded myself to accomplish at the snap of my fingers.
And guess what? None of them worked out. So I figured, what do I have to lose now? Might as well chase my dreams and see what happens which is what I'm currently doing. It took me a while to get here and I may have not arrived by the best means but I'm here now and every day I'm changing for the better.
I know I've had a lot of meltdowns during this transitional phase but each breaking point has broken me down and slowly making me the person I am. Not who they want me to be, but who I want to be.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
- Romans 12:2 (NIV)
I am living proof that who I am becoming will be better for me and this world than anything I achieve.
And who knows, maybe a positive attitude will help me achieve my goals.
I know I didn't write as much as I normally do (some of you are grateful for this) but I think you will all get the gist.
If you're discouraged, sad, got a case of the blues... Maybe you should re-think your goals and get going after what you really love and something you believe in. Don't plan on everything changing overnight but know every step you take in that direction will only get you closer to achieving your goals and becoming the genuinely amazing person you were meant to be. Not what society, your parents, or your friends think you should be--but YOU!
I look forward to seeing what you all are doing. Feel free to write me what your goals are and what steps you're taking to move towards them.
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